Eddy And Ed's Night Out
One day in the cul-de-sac, Ed and Eddy had set up a date to meet, but with little inspiration on how to spend their free time. Murray was gone, their days felt gloomier, and there was no "motherly" Double D to console or nag them into doing something productive. "We can't keep sittin' around, wasting our lives away like this." Eddy concluded, "If we got time to waste, why not head out!" "What you wanna do?" Ed asked. "Waddabout a club?" "What you wanna do with a club?" "HAVE FUN!" Eddy said and pulled out a pamphlet, "I'm talking about groovin' on some beats, drinking some drinks.. meeting ladies?" Ed looked intensively at the images and browsed the accompanied text, then cleared his throat. "This is a strip club, Eddy. Can we.. go there?" "Read the letters at the top!" "'For everyone'. What does that mean?" "Means it's for us, monobrow!" Eddy smirked confidently, "Must be a place that helps people ease into it, or whatever. Not everyone has the nerves to visit a stripper's joint, makes sense!" "Oh. Can I bring Sarah?" "...I mean.." he thought to himself, "..Nah, sounds like it'd be a hassle." With that, they looked up this strangely advertised club with genuine curiosity. Eddy wished to see the girls, naturally, but the "for everyone" aspect made Ed wonder if the guests were going to include kids and dogs. After all, how can women undressing themselves be "for everyone"? The claim was odd, but the company they found themselves in upon entering the building even moreso. "What's going on here?" Eddy gulped, "ED! What did you do, get us outta here!" "Me?" Ed asked, "You wanted to go to this Everything Club." "Ya could've told me it was a gay bar, I gave you the pamphlet! You know I don't like guys or readin'!" "Uh, yeah, sorry Eddy. But if this place's for everyone, then guys can come too, otherwise it's not fair." "..What do you think a strip club is, Ed?" "A club where you can strip?" "Ugh." Turning back became difficult when the employees started welcoming them with smothering friendliness. After all, it was common for a person to spend hundreds of dollars on a single visit, and they were new faces that needed to be impressed. Ed and Eddy had trouble convincing the men they were the wrong target demographic and didn't want a lap dance. "Eddy, how're we gonna get out of here, these guys really wanna show us their moves..!" "That's putting it lightly!" he replied annoyed, "Those bouncers at the exit weren't there before, either." "I guess they want us to give them money first.. You got anything?" "M-Maybe ten bucks?" Ed looked at the alcohol chart near the bar. "A glass of water is five!" he yelped, "If water's that much, I don't think they're gonna be happy with ten!" "Man, if I had known this place was gonna be this much of a scam, I would've stayed at home!" "Yeah!" Ed agreed, "It's so much of a scam, WE should start a strip club next time!" "Already noted, Ed! C'mon, let's try getting out of the vent over there..!" But it was hard to do so unnoticed and the space ended up being too small for them to enter. Ed and Eddy looked around, but there weren't any other exits or windows for them to try. "Maybe there're windows in the bathroom?" Ed suggested. "Um, yeah, I'm not going in there." "What would Double D say if he were here?" "He would've read the pamphlet!" Eddy grumbled, "I don't know, I guess something like 'try to behave'?" "But what if we behave and get trapped in here forever? I don't wanna live here, Eddy!" "Relax, we're not gonna live here!" he replied, "People'd rather kill us than share a house with us two, and these guys definitely look like they want us for dinner, heheh!" "AAAAAAAH!" Ed shrieked. "Chill, it's a joke!" "Oh." "We are doomed, though." "I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN!!!" Ed shrieked again, "MOM, DAD, SARAH, HELP! CALL THE ANTI-CANNIBAL PATROL, GET ME OUT OF HERE!" "..Excuse me, gentlemen." a young stripper approached them, "The noise is bothering the guests and performers, they can't hear the music." "S-Sorry." Eddy replied after covering Ed's mouth, "Um, could ya open the doors for us, please?" "Leaving already?" "DON'T EAT ED!" Ed interrupted. "Shut it already!" Eddy snapped, and turned back to the employee, "Yeah, er, we kinda made a mistake, this isn't our kind of club. If ya know what I mean." "They inform people at the door during the ID checks, didn't they say anything?" "We.. kinda walked in." "I see. You were supposed to pay an entrance fee, but familiar faces may skip the line and pay when they leave. Not sure how you two got through, but if this is what happened, it makes sense you're confused.." "Dunno how we did it, but these bouncers are staring us down mad style, and we just wanna leave!" "They're staring you down because you haven't paid yet. But keeping boys hostage is bad business for us, so I'll help explain it to them.." "T-Thanks!" Eddy smiled with relief, "Hear that, Ed?" "I heard it cause I'm here too!" Ed smiled back. They high-fived each other as the dancer approached the heavy bouncers, who opened the doors and gestured the two lost sheep to go on through. "Thanks, man!" Eddy said to the dancer, "Appreciate it!" "I'm sure you'll repay me one day." he winked. "Um.." ''The End '' Category:Fan-Fiction Category:Fanfiction Category:Fan-Fiction Episodes